Missing: Jacob the Jerk Squirrel.

A few weeks ago I wrote about Jacob the Jerk Squirrel who is guilty of eating all the mikans (tangerine) on my mikan tree.

My mikan tree went from being full of lovely orange fruity friends to being lonesome and bare. It was all Jacob the Jerk Squirrel's fault. And so, I prayed and prayed to all of the Gods that I knew of, and also made a wish on a falling star. I ate a Christmas Turkey and made a wish as I snapped his wishbone. I mapped out every fountain in Los Angles and made a three-day tour of them all. I threw pennies in and wished that Jacob would disappear forever (over 145 pennies). Next, I found a dandelion grove and I spent 2 nights and 3 days (camping) picking every blooming dandelion and making my wish each time I blew it's little cotton ball of spores into the wind. Not far from the dandelion grove was a grassy hill where I hunted for four leaf clovers that I could wish upon. Finally, I made 1000 origami cranes, each one named Jacob, and asked the great Crane Spirit to grant my wish.

When I returned home, I ran to my yard and looked in the Mikan tree. No Jacob. I looked to the top of the fence where he likes to perch and peel his stolen fruits. No Jacob. I looked in the kinkan tree (kumquat), where he also likes to play. No Jacob.

I'm not sure which of my thousand wishes was heard, but one of them was. Jacob is gone. I was so excited. I picked one of the last few mikan from the tree and ate its sweet, sweet fruit meat. The mikans were mine again.

The next morning I woke up and looked out the window. Still no Jacob. The Mikan tree and Kinkan tree stood alone with no rodent of any kind running up and down its branches. The fence where Jacob suppers was empty of peels. It was a completely Jacob-free environment. I know I should have been happy, but there was a certain loneliness. The trees seemed empty without the rustle of rodent movement. The last mikans hanging on the tree seemed anxious and on edge, as if they were afraid they would go uneaten...and be left to shrivel into nothingness...unwanted...unloved.

I began to wonder how my wish was granted. I wished that Jacob would be gone, but what does that mean? Jacob was gone, but where did he go? I hadn't been specific in my wishing. I should have wished "that Jacob would find another mikan tree somewhere else and he would be happy there until his last days". I was only thinking of myself, and my mikans. Now I must accept that I may be responsible for the disappearance or even death of Jacob the Jerk squirrel. Yes, he was a jerk squirrel, but he doesn't deserve to die. Even though he was a jerk I still loved him...I still love him. It's been five days now and no sign at all of Jacob. I have spent the last three days searching my neighborhood. I've gone door to door with this flyer, asking if anyone has seen him.

If you hear anything about Jacob, please do let me know. I am so worried, I have no appetite. I don't even feel like eating the last few mikan that Jacob left behind.

Subscribe to Ken's mailing list

* indicates required

Jacob the jerk squirrel update

In my last post I wrote about Jacob the squirrel who was responsible for shutting down Squarespace (my website host) after I called him a jerk very quietly. I spoke to Jacob after my last post and we worked things out. He agreed to stop eating my mikans and I agreed to never call him a jerk again. It was a great bargain.

But this morning I woke up and looked out my window and there he was, mikan gobbling. I still love Jacob, but I do feel betrayed. My heart hurts and also my toe, because I bumped my foot into a door earlier (not really Jacob's fault). I want to be the kind of man who shares his mikan with all nature of rodent, but if Jacob eats them all, then I will have none for the either rodents like Sharon and Judy, and also Toby the rodent, and the other Jacob.

I hope it's just a phase. a kind of リスの反抗期。

Subscribe to Ken's mailing list

* indicates required

Pre-Order the Harper Design edition of Everybody Dies with 16 new color pages.

Muskrat's Howl to Prayer

Sometime in 1951, after a 6 day Snodgrass binge, Jacob the Muskrat wrote the poem he is best known for. The most famous passage is shown below

Muskrat Howl Part 1
by Jacob Muskrat

For Carl Muskrat

I saw the best muskrats of my generation destroyed by alligators, fleeing, hysterical, dragging their emaciated winter bodies through the Monte Negro wetlands at dawn, looking for an angry mix of reeds and grasses.
Furry headed rodents, pining for the safe warmth of their ancestral lodges, in the celestial still of icy winter,
who, shivering and bony sat on hindquarters nibbling on snodgrass in the alien calm of night,
and climbed high atop snow whited hills
sniffing frozen air and contemplating crickets,
Who pushed teeth to twig and paw to mud and head to ground under quarter moon and saw the angelic form of the Great Muskrat dancing on the Earthen roofs from lodge to lodge by starlight,
who pranced through Coyote Den and python nest wide eyed dreaming Siberia and Rodentine sonnets among the shadows of predator...

Methi Aloo, My friend Jacob the Fenugreek bunchle

One of my hobbies is going to the farmer's market and buying fruits, vegetables and other plant friends that I have never met before. A friendly Chinese man had this bunch of leaves for sale. I asked him what it was and he said it was called Me thi. I named this bunch of MEthi Jacob and I brought it home.

Online, I found out that Methi (also called Fenugreek) is popular in Indian food. I found a recipe for Methi Aloo ( a methi and potato curry) and so, I transformed a good portion of Jacob into this tasty curry.

I will name the curry Toby.

Have you seen him?

I won't say what this video is about. It's only 40 seconds long, so you will find out soon.
This is from a coin laundry in Los Angeles that is open very late.
My friend always says that the neon lights make it look like a pornography shop.
I wash my clothes there a lot and I haven't seen any pornography though, well, maybe a little bit, but none that was for sale.

The bulletin board at the laundry reminds me of the move 28 days later, where they show a tree that is stapled with lots of missing person flyers after the zombie virus breaks out.
Instead of missing persons, there are lonesome single socks, pinned to the cork board.
I hope they find what they are looking for.

Hesitant Descender

Junpei caterpillar was born in an old and handsome oak tree named Jacob.

He has lived in Jacob all his life.

Junpei has travelled quite a bit. Once he went from his home on the north side of the oak tree, to the branches of the south side of the tree, where the moss is drier, and the oak leaves are green and juicy.

Last week he climbed up to the very tip of the highest leaf, on Jacob's highest branch and he napped under spring sun.

On Tuesday, Junpei woke up to find that all of his friends were gone. Every caterpillar he knew had disappeared and he was left all alone on Jacob.

He asked Jacob what had happened, but Jacob would only answer "it happens every year".

Junpei cried caterpillar tears. He cried and cried and cried and he didn't finish crying until he was all done.

And when his last tear had fallen sploosh on the ground below, Junpei slowly caterpillared down Jacob's bark.

Down and down all the way to Jacob's bumpy trunk stump, far far far lower than Junpei had ever been.

And he sniffed the air,
and lifted his head
and looked out at the green grasses below.

Junpei is made of collaged print making paper and acrylic ink. He will be auctioned off at the Royal-T art show benefit for Earthquake rebuilding in May. I will write more details about it soon.

Green Cat is listening closely

This is the second animal I did for the art book. I guess the editor will choose between Jacob the Polar Bear and Jacob the green cat.

Jacob the green cat has excellent listening skills. He can hear things that you and I can't. One day he heard me wondering. Another day, he heard me being indecisive. And he even heard me when I was drawing the shadow under his tail. I wonder if hearing all those things makes it hard for him to sleep.