Missing: Jacob the Jerk Squirrel.

A few weeks ago I wrote about Jacob the Jerk Squirrel who is guilty of eating all the mikans (tangerine) on my mikan tree.

My mikan tree went from being full of lovely orange fruity friends to being lonesome and bare. It was all Jacob the Jerk Squirrel's fault. And so, I prayed and prayed to all of the Gods that I knew of, and also made a wish on a falling star. I ate a Christmas Turkey and made a wish as I snapped his wishbone. I mapped out every fountain in Los Angles and made a three-day tour of them all. I threw pennies in and wished that Jacob would disappear forever (over 145 pennies). Next, I found a dandelion grove and I spent 2 nights and 3 days (camping) picking every blooming dandelion and making my wish each time I blew it's little cotton ball of spores into the wind. Not far from the dandelion grove was a grassy hill where I hunted for four leaf clovers that I could wish upon. Finally, I made 1000 origami cranes, each one named Jacob, and asked the great Crane Spirit to grant my wish.

When I returned home, I ran to my yard and looked in the Mikan tree. No Jacob. I looked to the top of the fence where he likes to perch and peel his stolen fruits. No Jacob. I looked in the kinkan tree (kumquat), where he also likes to play. No Jacob.

I'm not sure which of my thousand wishes was heard, but one of them was. Jacob is gone. I was so excited. I picked one of the last few mikan from the tree and ate its sweet, sweet fruit meat. The mikans were mine again.

The next morning I woke up and looked out the window. Still no Jacob. The Mikan tree and Kinkan tree stood alone with no rodent of any kind running up and down its branches. The fence where Jacob suppers was empty of peels. It was a completely Jacob-free environment. I know I should have been happy, but there was a certain loneliness. The trees seemed empty without the rustle of rodent movement. The last mikans hanging on the tree seemed anxious and on edge, as if they were afraid they would go uneaten...and be left to shrivel into nothingness...unwanted...unloved.

I began to wonder how my wish was granted. I wished that Jacob would be gone, but what does that mean? Jacob was gone, but where did he go? I hadn't been specific in my wishing. I should have wished "that Jacob would find another mikan tree somewhere else and he would be happy there until his last days". I was only thinking of myself, and my mikans. Now I must accept that I may be responsible for the disappearance or even death of Jacob the Jerk squirrel. Yes, he was a jerk squirrel, but he doesn't deserve to die. Even though he was a jerk I still loved him...I still love him. It's been five days now and no sign at all of Jacob. I have spent the last three days searching my neighborhood. I've gone door to door with this flyer, asking if anyone has seen him.

If you hear anything about Jacob, please do let me know. I am so worried, I have no appetite. I don't even feel like eating the last few mikan that Jacob left behind.

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Jacob the jerk squirrel update

In my last post I wrote about Jacob the squirrel who was responsible for shutting down Squarespace (my website host) after I called him a jerk very quietly. I spoke to Jacob after my last post and we worked things out. He agreed to stop eating my mikans and I agreed to never call him a jerk again. It was a great bargain.

But this morning I woke up and looked out my window and there he was, mikan gobbling. I still love Jacob, but I do feel betrayed. My heart hurts and also my toe, because I bumped my foot into a door earlier (not really Jacob's fault). I want to be the kind of man who shares his mikan with all nature of rodent, but if Jacob eats them all, then I will have none for the either rodents like Sharon and Judy, and also Toby the rodent, and the other Jacob.

I hope it's just a phase. a kind of リスの反抗期。

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Everything Baby is Delicious

I got these baby tangerine (Mikan) at a farmer's market. I always eat a baby tangerine every chance I get. They are so tiny and sour and cute and delicious.

Babies are always more delicious and sweet and tender than grown up things. Why do babies taste so good?

Here are some of my favorite babies to eat. Did I miss any of your favorites?

Baby carrot,
Baby Corn,
Baby pig (piglet),
Baby cupcake,
Baby tomato,
Baby cow,
Baby sheeps,
Unborn baby fishes (salmon eggs and smelt, and others)
Baby chickens,
Baby pancakes ( I call a small bit of pancake batter that drips onto a fry pan "baby pancake" and they are flat and tasty.)
Baby Gooses (Gosling)
Baby Shitake,
Sugar Babies,
Baby Ruth bar,